It’s a long journey. My journey to a survivor of domestic abuse has been long and hard. PTSD can last years and it takes years to undo the mind affects an abuser can alter. Lately it feels like the whole world has suffered tremendous abuse and horror. I wonder how many abuse victims in the world have PTSD, right now? How many abuse victims need love and compassion, right now? Without questions just, pure compassion. A hug…that would be nice. Instead as in my case, when you out an abuser, the fight escalates. DOMESTIC ABUSE IS NOT ALWAYS PHYSICAL VIOLENCE. I am not satisfied with the treatment of abuse victims by abusers, and flying monkeys. AND WE NEED ACCOUNTABILITY and justice as too many of the abusers, that are master manipulators just carry on. Since it is domestic abuse awareness month, I am posting the different forms of abuse again.
Emotional abuse is one of the most damaging forms — and one of the hardest to recognize. “It involves putting the victim down and crazy-making,” Glenn says. “Telling them they’re not worth anything, or ‘go ahead and leave, no one else will take you.’ It might mean threatening to take their children away.” It’s “torture” to be manipulated in this way. “It takes away a survivor’s autonomy by tearing them down,” she says. It can come in the form of insults, criticism, gaslighting, ignoring, or even forcing a victim to take drugs or alcohol, according to the Arizona Coalition to End Sexual & Domestic Violence.
This could come in the form of partner or marital rape, or forcing sex on another person who did not give consent. It also could take the form of a perpetrator tricking or forcing someone into getting pregnant.
According to ACESDV, it could also involve using guilt, manipulation, or forcing someone to have specific sexual experiences that they don’t want.
The abuser might direct deposit the survivor’s paycheck into an account they never see, or not allow them to work at all. “A victim could also be given an allowance, or a certain amount to spend on themselves and the children per week,” “The perpetrator might have run up the victim’s credit so she has a harder time leaving. We’ve even seen cases where they forge signatures on important financial documents.” This kind of abuse makes it “difficult, if not impossible, to ‘just leave.’”
This is easier to identify, but still hard to come to terms with. It could be physically aggressive behavior, the withholding of physical needs, or indirect harmful behavior, according to the ACESDV. That can mean anything from slapping to withholding food to injuring someone’s child or pet to trapping someone in a room.
Domestic abuse is often about a perpetrator wanting to have control over their partner. This can take the form of some of the things already on this list, but it can also mean stalking them, or keeping tabs on their whereabouts. They might measure their gas tank, and make the victim answer questions about where they’ve been. They could put spyware on their phone, so they can see who they’re talking to. It also could mean isolating a survivor from their friends and family.
I suffered emotional, sexual, financial, and extreme coercive control at the chosen will of my abuser Richard Zona Jr. I just told a friend today all my phone calls were taped for years……my name signed on financial documents, and forced SEX EVERYDAY. It was TORTURE, daily torture. Oh..it didn’t end when I left. Some form of it continues through today, years later.
BUT….. I was told just today…”Tracy you are a breathe of fresh air.” That made my day!
Richard Zona Jr. no longer controls me, my finances, can no longer tape my calls, can no longer tell me what to say and what not to say, call me “CRAZY” and RICHARD ZONA JR. can never force daily unwanted sex on me EVER AGAIN.
He still has my money though……but his flying monkeys can ALL go to HELL!