I took a drive to the OC today. The OC was where the worst events of my life took place. It is where the domestic abuse escalated and became unbearable. Someone interviewing me recently asked me ” at what point did it turn that bad.” And I said “it was when I finally said NO.” The interviewer looked at me as though they were not expecting such a simple answer, I just said “NO.”
Anyway, the last seven months have been HARSH. The last seven months exposed the harshness of the world that I hoped I would never see again. The last seven months did not offer me the closure, culpability, nor the respect I deserve. TRUST ME NOTHING I DID IN THIS LIFETIME MADE ME DESERVE IT. I had lunch in the OC, by myself, and I looked over at the table next to me and they gave me a thumb’s up! I just smiled and graciously said thank you! I appreciated that THUMB’S UP from kind strangers that obviously saw something in me to offer that gesture in the place I had the worst events of my life. My interviewer said “Tracy you are doing the right thing.” And I know I am…..